Dating Lines
Whenever I want a really nice meal,
I start dating again.
How many of you have ever started dating
because you were too lazy to commit suicide?
If you kiss on the first date and it's not right,
then there will be no second date.
Sometimes it's better to hold out
and not kiss for a long time.
I am a strong believer in kissing being very intimate,
and the minute you kiss,
the floodgates open for everything else.
I don't understand
how a woman can leave the house
without fixing herself up a little
- if only out of politeness.
And then, you never know,
maybe that's the day
she has a date with destiny.
And it's best to be
as pretty as possible for destiny.
I've been on so many blind dates,
I should get a free dog.
There are three possible parts to a date,
of which at least two must be offered:
entertainment, food, and affection.
It is customary to begin a series of dates
with a great deal of entertainment,
a moderate amount of food,
and the merest suggestion of affection.
As the amount of affection increases,
the entertainment can be reduced proportionately.
When the affection IS the entertainment,
we no longer call it dating.
Under no circumstances can the food be omitted.
Dating is just awkward moments
and one person wants more than the other.
It's just that constant strangeness.
I think it's a very real thing.
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